Per Aspera Ad Astra

...you gotta miss yourself to know who you are and wonder, how a simple thing could have an important meaning.
Better a second of love than a lifetime of hate.
Thank you for these days! :)

Allright, after a brief and stupid moment of self pity i've decided to spend my week-emd working, it's not like that i absolutely got to do it, it's just that it's still useless that i try to go out only not to feel lonely, loneliness is a consequence of what i have done and i gotta to pay the price.
Still it's also useless if i stay here blaming myself for my mistakes and it's also a waste of time, so i decided to put further effort in planning my job, the more i plan it, the more result i obtain and the more result i obtain, the more money i get.
It could seem cynical i know, but well, it's true that money could buy happiness but at least they could bring a little degree of stability and self satisfaction, like some sort of points.
And beside i got to put my mind into something or else i start to think about depressing arguments and i fall again in my stupid habits, i don't want that, thanks.
Still, i feel like i'm missing something, or someone, but at least i'm able to decide to do something else other than pitying myself so i suppose it's ok, a little step further, if only a small one.
One day i'll be able to throw away this stupid sadness, that i want to believe, after all the first step for a miracle it's to believe in it.

Lately i was wondering about something, something that started a long time ago, in a spring night.
It is a tale of two stars that crossed their paths, founding some sort of feeling that made them believe in something bigger and greater that they could expect, something that made'em call each other late at night just to say a good night.
It was a time of simple yet marvelous portent, of small little thing done just to give a smile, of the little poetry that rise when two things are connected and yet it was a time of reciprocal amazement, in the discovery of how a day can be so bright.
It was.
Time passes, slowly consuming even the most impervious rock and leaving a naked skin, a skin uneasy to look at, reveling things to the sparks of light inside us, telling us the truth of what we are and what we've done wrong, even to ourselves...
But still there is a memory of a green trail and of the precious time spent together, even if it hurts wondering how things can be changed so much, it's was still worth of the sorrow it bears.
That, i believe, is called experience our mirror for the choices we do.
I love this life...